I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
