pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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