Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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