TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
