Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
