No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
