lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
