I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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