You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
