I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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