Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
