the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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