i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
