could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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