Please, let me fuck your mom
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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