you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
