Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
