That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
