No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
