I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
