Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Four minutes until I can fart!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
