Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
