Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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