Don't you send me to vm
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
