i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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