Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
