my phone needs a breathalizer
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
