brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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