How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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