It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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