I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
