note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
