also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
