i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
