Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
