I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
