I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
