I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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