i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
