my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
