I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
