you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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