i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
