Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
