No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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