Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
