i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
