Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
