alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Boobs speak an international language.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
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