whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
