porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
