He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
